Transcriber's note: This is from _Voo Doo,_ Winter 1989, p. 12.  I have
    modified a few verses for poetic or political reasons.  ("Political"
    changes were not according to any Standard of Politically Correct
    Drinking Songs, but only based on my subjective judgement on what would
    improve the song overall.  If you don't like it, publish your own
    version.)

    _Voo Doo_ does not list once crucial verse that I've heard at Bad Taste
    Concerts: the one that ends, "These words don't mean a thing to me,
    'cause I'm an Engineer."  Also, I hear a number of women students have
    added their own verses, to prove that they can be just as lusty and
    tasteless as their brothers.  If anyone has any verses (new or old) that
    are not here, please send them to me.

					    --Seth Gordon
					      Course XVII

My father was a miner from the northern Malamute.
My mother is a mistress in a house of ill repute.
The last time that I saw them both, these words rang in my ears:
"Go to MIT, you son of a bitch, and join the Engineers!"

(Chorus)
We are, we are, we are, we are, we are the Engineers.
We can, we can, we can, we can, demolish forty beers.
Drink rum, drink rum, drink rum all day, and come along with us,
For we don't give a damn for any old man who don't give a damn for us!

Godiva was a lady who through Coventry did ride
To show the royal villagers her fine and pure white hide
The most observant man of all, an Engineer of course
Was the only one who noticed that Godiva rode a horse.

(Chorus)

She said, "I've come a long, long way, and I will go as far
With the man who takes me from this horse and leads me to a bar
The man who took her from her steed and led her to a beer
Was a bleary-eyed surveyor and a drunken Engineer.

(Chorus)

Godiva was a lady well-endowed, there is no doubt.
She never wore a stitch of clothes, just wound her hair about.
The first man who did make her was an Engineer, of course,
But on just one beer an artsie wierdo made Godiva's horse.

(Chorus)

Ace Towing roams the Cambridge streets each day and every night,
Towing cars and stowing cars to hide them out of sight.
They tried to tow Godiva's horse; the Engineers said, "Hey!"
They towed away their towing truck, and now the Ace must pay!

(Chorus)

Rapunzel let her hair down for two suitors down below
So one of them could grab a hold and give the old heave-ho
The prince began to climb at once, but soon came out the worst,
For the Engineer rode up a lift, and reached Godiva first.

(Chorus)

Oh, Caesar went to Egypt at the age of fifty-three
But Cleopatra's blood was warm, her heart was young and free
And every night when Julius said good-night at three o'clock
A Roman Engineer was waiting just around the block!

(Chorus)

Sir Francis Drake and all his ships set out for Calais Bay
They'd heard the Spanish rum fleet was headed out that way
But the Engineers had beat them, by a night and half a day,
And though as drunk as ptarmigans, you still could hear them say:

(Chorus)

The Army and the Navy, they went out to have some fun
They went down to the taverns where the fiery liquors run
But all they found were empties, for the Engineers had come
And traded all their instruments for gallon kegs of rum.

(Chorus)

An artist and an Engineer once found a gallon can.
Said the artist, "Match me drink for drink, let's see if you're a man."
They drank three drinks: the artist fell, his face was turning green,
But the Engineer drank on and said, "It's only gasoline."

(Chorus)

An Engineer once stumbled through the halls of Building 10
That night he'd drunken rum enough to drown a dozen men.
In fact, the only things there were that kept him on his course
Were the boundary conditions and the Coriolis force.

(Chorus)

A graduate in Chemistry went out to take a stroll
Along the Up Chuck River bank, where all the compounds roll.
That day she felt dejected at the bursting of her dream,
For she couldn't find a single trace of water in the stream.

(Chorus)

An MIT computer man got drunk one fateful night,
He opened up the console and smashed everything in sight.
When they fin-a-lly subdued him, the judge he stood before
Said, "Lock him up for twenty years, he's rotten to the core!"

(Chorus)

Venus was a statue made entirely of stone
Without a stitch upon her, she was naked as a bone.
On seeing that she had no clothes, an Engineer discoursed,
"Why, the damn thing's only concrete, and it should be reinforced!"

(Chorus)

I happened once upon a girl whose eyes were full of fire.
Her physical endowments would have made your hands perspire.
To my surprise, she told me that she never had been kissed;
Her boyfriend was a tired Engineering scientist.

(Chorus)

A Physics man from MIT went out and drank his fill.
And then came to a strip joint, 'cause he had some time to kill.
The motions that he witnessed there excited all his nerves,
And he filled eleven napkins with equations of the curves.

(Chorus)

A maiden and an Engineer were sitting in the park.
The Engineer was working on some research after dark.
His scientific method was a marvel to observe:
While his right hand held the figures, his old left hand traced the
  curves.

(Chorus)

Princeton's run by Wellesley, and Wellesley's run by Yale
And Yale is run by Vassar, and Vassar's run by tail.
Harvard's run by stiff, stiff pricks, the kind you raise by hand,
But Tech is run by Engineers, the finest in the land.

(Chorus)

If we should find a Harvard man within our sacred halls,
We'll take him to the Physics lab and amputate his balls.
And if he hollers "Uncle," I'll tell you what we'll do:
We'll stuff his ass with broken glass, and seal it up with glue.

(Chorus)

And should there be a Harvard woman strolling our Great Court,
We'll fetch a pail of river gunk and make her drink a quart.
The water of the River Charles can fix her every flaw,
And the Engineers all drink it, 'cause it makes us what we are.

(Chorus)

MIT was MIT when Harvard was a pup,
And MIT will be MIT when Harvard's time is up,
And any Harvard son of a bitch who thinks he's in our class
Can pucker up his rosy lips and kiss the beaver's ass.

(Chorus)

I am a whore from Radcliffe, and I fuck for fifty cents.
I lay my ass upon the grass, my skirt upon the fence.
I'll let you rub my belly, or on Sunday fuck for free,
But get off of me, you son of a B, if you're from MIT.

(Chorus)

An Engineer from MIT once found the gates of Hell.
She looked the Devil in the eye and said, "You're looking well."
The Devil looked right back at her, and said, "Why visit me?
"You've been through Hell already, ma'am: you went to MIT!"

(Chorus)

That poor old lass from MIT, she tried to enter Heaven.
Saint Peter told the Engineer, "Get back to Building Seven!"
The Engineer said she was damned if she was going home,
So she climed atop the roof and hacked her way through Heaven's dome.

(Chorus)

My father peddles opium; my mother's on the dole.
My sister used to walk the streets, but now she's on parole.
My uncle plays with little girls; my aunt, she raped a steer,
But they don't even speak to me, 'cause I'm an Engineer.

(Chorus)

The bravest souls at MIT are those from A-Phi-O.
There is no place on earth, or off, that they won't dare to go.
They're just a bunch of volunteers, and happy with their lot,
For they know they're here to serve you, whether you want them to or not.

(Chorus)